his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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