well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
