Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
