Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize