I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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