yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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