haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
