His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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