Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Randomize
