I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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