I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
