At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
