I am midnight drunk by noon
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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