Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I need to calm my uterus...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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