Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...

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(647): View more from Ontario

Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.

(913): View more from Kansas

Nobody is perfect

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me

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(316): View more from Kansas

How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?

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(954): View more from Florida

Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"

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