how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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