Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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