I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
