I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
