If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
