Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
