Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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