brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
