haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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