It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
