david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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