Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My balls are so social today.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize