i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're too hungover to prance.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
