I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
