those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
