I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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