Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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