Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize