dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
