he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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