How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What a dumb baby whore.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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