Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
