bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
