I need help removing her.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
