apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
