just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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