so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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