help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
from now on my penis is your penis
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
