Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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