We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
