Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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