when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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