If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
zippers are such a cool invention
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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