glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I just put wine in my tea
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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