I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
