I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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