He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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