I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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