I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
