Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
