so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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