I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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