2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
