We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
