Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
