Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
