My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
