i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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