everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
